About The Patient

They only let me out of the padded room to do this….

Well, “let” is a bit misleading.

Hi! My name is Tim. I started this blog because I think I’m funny. Some people agree, some (my wife) don’t. I’m an artist, musician, actor & wannabe writer. I’m married with 2 daughters and many pets. I run the art department at a screen print shop and play wedding DJ on weekends.

My wife calls me her “gay” husband, and not because I’m happy all the time. Something about the combination of art, music & theater, and the fact I don’t really do the sports thing…

or know about cars…

or go out drinking with my buds…

or any other “manly” cliché.

Maybe I was supposed to be gay. Maybe God was making me gay and they sent me out without flipping the gay-strait switch.

God was all like “Did you turn the gay switch on?” and the angels were like “No.” and he was like “Shit, that’s going to confuse people.”

Anyway, I’m not gay. I have gay friends. I like my gay friends, they’re fun! Much more fun that some of you straight people out there. They don’t make fun of me for drinking Smirnoff Cherry Limeade and singing show-tunes.


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