Archive for April, 2013

Tina & I are foodies, sort of. Okay, not really, but do we watch a lot of cooking shows. Hell’s Kitchen, Worst Cooks in America, Restaurant Impossible, Top Chef, Chopped, Sweet Genius, Chef Wanted, Restaurant Stakeout. We also liked Ace of Cakes & Good Eats. We even have the Top Chef & Good Eats cookbooks.

We can’t really be considered foodies because we don’t have, what they call, refined pallets. She doesn’t like peas and if you put mushrooms in anything I won’t touch it with a 15 foot pole. Green beans make me gag and Tina gets sick just looking at mayonnaise.  Neither one of us are big fans of tomatoes, unless it’s a sauce or a condiment. We’re pretty simple folk. Kraft Mac n’ Cheese is a staple at our house. Sometimes I’ll fancy it up and add tuna to it. Tina does likes salmon and tilapia while I prefer my fish in stick form, easier to dip in ketchup to mask that unpleasant fish taste.

But ever since we’ve been watching these cooking shows, we’ve tried to up our game. We try out new recipes every week. Some are successful, others are not. Though I’ve found adding a butt-load of cheese will make almost anything palatable. Butt-load is a real unit of measurement in our kitchen, as well as, a heap, a glop, a handful (varies on who’s hand is cooking at the time), some, a squirt, a dollop (♪of Daisy♬), a bit, smallish, and a hunka hunka (but only in reference to cheese).

The more I watch, the more I dream of having my own restaurant. Both of us have worked in the food service industry on and off our whole lives. My first real job was at McDonald’s, then I moved up in the world to KFC. While I was in college I worked for Cinnabon (yes, I can still make them, no, I won’t tell you the secret ingredient). I’ve worked as a server and a baker, Tina’s been a waitress and a line cook. We’re smart, well-educated people, we could run our own restaurant.

We could call it TnT…

TnT Dynamite Good Food

TnT Dynamite Good Food! The marketing practically writes itself!

Or I’d like to open a bakery. We could sell breads and pastries, cookies and cakes…. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

We’ll call it Tim’s Big Ass Buns!

Tim'sBigAssBuns

Me and my big ass…

Can’t you just imagine walking through the mall, the scent of the fresh-baked goods wafting through the air, and a giant 6 ft ass on a lit up sign.

Like a Statue of Liberty for fat people.

“Give me your hefty, your obese, Your thick-set masses yearning to eat gluten, The bulging waistlines of your oversize pants. Send these, the rotund, corpulent to me, as I lift my gooey buns out of the fiery oven!”

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I don’t know why there is a tiger hanging from the light…. I assume it was a hell of a party.

This is a bar down the street from where I work… it made me laugh. The tiger even has sunglasses on. Guess I’ll need to go down there for a drink now and then. There’s also a sweet mini golf course right behind it.

Valley Golf

‘Cause what’s better than drinkin’ and puttin’?

I’m not much of a drinker myself. Mostly because I don’t really like beer and I’m too cheap to buy hard liquor. I will occasionally splurge and get 1 or 12 Captain & Cokes or Jack & Cokes (both), when we’re on vacation. Of course we have to face the children when we get home. They’ll squint at us and ask “Are you guys drunk?”

We, of course, indignantly and rather slurredly, reply,”No… now where’s the pans, we’re gonna make clam cakes!”

Worst hang-over I’ve ever had, was back in ’98. Tina and I were celebrating getting our first apartment together. She was pregnant with our first daughter, so she wasn’t drinking. However, that didn’t stop me and our good friend, who happened to come over to help. I spent the next couple hours drinking Seven & Sevens and eating Doritos with melted cheese.

I don’t remember much.  I do remember microwaving the Doritos and cheese on a plate with a gold ring on it. If you’ve ever put metal in the microwave you’ll know what it does. I thought it was neat and pretty, Tina thought I was going to burn down the kitchen. At some point I crawled to the bathroom to evict the contents of my stomach. By the morning, I felt awful, it was also moving day. Tina was less than sympathetic. I haven’t drank or had a hang-over like that since.

I also didn’t eat Doritos for at least 5 years.

So here we are, at the end. I’m a little behind. 🙂

The weekend was busy with Easter & all.  And Illness has run rampant through the household. It ran me over yesterday.

Day 30: My favorite ice cream flavor is…

…wait for it…

Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.

or Dean’s Fannie May Mint Meltaway

Day 31: Self portrait & what I like best about this experience.

Like I haven’t posted enough photos already… here’s one of me and my celebrity doppelgänger Jeffery Jones.

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What did I like best?

I think overall, it gave me topics to write about and forced me to actually sit down and do it.  That’s going to be the hardest thing to do after this. Finding stuff to write about.  I’ll have to start looking at my life a little differently, find the interesting in the mundane.

The girls do give me plenty to laugh about. Yesterday the 14-year-old was complaining about a headache, I told her to put ice on her head. When I asked her later if it helped, she said yes, but the ice melted….*0_0*… um yes, that is what ice does.

For those of you that have been following me though this month of blogging, thank you. For those who just joined us,welcome, I hope to give you a reason to stay.

One last big thank you shout out to Tiffany at www.fabulousfindsbytiffany.com for the Challenge.

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